


2013: The Hetalian Grand Prix

by shakhmaty



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-05
Updated: 2015-11-05
Packaged: 2018-04-30 05:39:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5152370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shakhmaty/pseuds/shakhmaty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>2013.<br/>The nations are driving F1 cars.<br/>Across the world.<br/>With Japan nowhere to be found.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Anywhere You Want

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hetalia: Axis Powers. Hidekazu Himaruya does. Please give your love to him, not me!**

"Everyone listen up! In an unprecedented case of nepotism, I have decided to quench my friend Italy's zirst for racing! Vi've already drawn straws and names, so zere vil be no ifs or buts about it!"

Everyone bandied amongst themselves before replying, in zero harmony, "That sounds good." "Fine by me." "Can't wait!"

"Huh? All right zen…"

The drivers and managers were posted by the wall. Everyone seemed pretty OK with them.

Red Bull: Austria

1\. Germany

2\. Norway

Backup. Sweden

"Vell, at least Deutschland isn't as much of a douche as Schweiz."

"Alright, Norge. Guess vi can make a good team."

"Ja."

"I'm third to these vanks…"

Ferrari: Romano

3\. Spain

4\. Italy

Backup. Finland

"Hahaha, Spain! I get to dominate you this time!"

"Well, you never listened to me, anyways… pendejo…"

"Yay! I get to race for big brother!"

"Right. At least I get to sit out the season. I can drive at free practice, right?"

"Sì."

Looking up and down so far for most of these guys.

McLaren: Hong Kong

5\. England

6\. Russia

Backup. Australia

"Nice to see you again, England."

"You too, mate."

"Guess it's time to show those Westerners true power."

"Do we race across the Dover Strait?"

"Нет."

Lotus: Estonia

7\. China

8\. France

Backup. Iceland

"Ok, guys, I-"

"I'm overthrowing you and making this team a Maoist one. And I'm the oldest, so all of you can shut up -"

*France hits him over the head*

"Yes! I did it!"

"Cool story bro…"

Mercedes: Latvia (oh boy.)

9\. Prussia

10\. Belgium

Backup. Netherlands

Latvia couldn't speak because of his sudden fear of Prussia.

"Ja, I'm awesome, but you know that. So I'm going to lead zis team to sweet victory!"

"And I can make waffles as victory breakfast for dinner!"

"I'm fine with that. Just don't try anything with my… sister."

"Oh, big brother…"

Sauber: Switzerland and Liechtenstein

11\. America

12\. Vietnam

Backup: Egypt

"I can't believe I got dragged into this crap. I thought I banned this sport."

"It's OK, big brother. I'll help you out."

*America shakes hands with Vietnam*

"Nice to see you again."

"Pleased to race with you, Mỹ. I am sure we will do great."

"Yep."

Oh, Egypt. A man of few words.

Force India: India

14\. Hungary

15\. Bulgaria

Backup. Shinatty-chan

"Do you love elephants?"

"Yes."

"Yeah."

"Yep."

"Fantastic. Good day!"

Williams: Portugal

16\. Macau

17\. Taiwan

Backup. Cuba

"Hey Macau!"

"Hey Portugal. Haven't seen you for fourteen years now."

"Hi Macau!"

"Hi Taiwan. Keep this a secret from China: one China, one Taiwan."

Taiwan beamed.

"All right, chiquitos, let's get to work!"

Toro Rosso: Luxembourg

18\. Greece

19\. Canada

Backup. Korea

"Hello guys."

"Hi."

"Hello."

"Who are you?"

"I know you know who I am…"

"Can't wait for free practice!

Caterham: Thailand

20\. Poland

21\. Lithuania

Backup. Turkey

"Hello."

"OK. Rule 1: I get a podium every time."

"Not happening man."

"Gonna beat that idiot Greece!"

Marussia: Czech and Slovakia

22\. Ukraine

23\. Belarus

Backup. Romania

Czech and Slovakia looked at each other and smiled. It seemed that they made up fully and still liked each other. Ukraine smiled, and Belarus dreamed of replacing England at McLaren to be with her brother.

"We're going to do great this year!"

Yeah, not happening with them Cosworth engines.

Germany broke up the banter between teammates.

"Sound good?"

Yeah.


	2. Melbourne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Australian Grand Prix. Who will start their season off right, and who will crash first?

Free practice went well.  
"Aussie! How's the car feel?"  
"Amazing! Feels fantastic! "  
"Holding up there, Egypt?"  
Switzerland took his silence as a yes.  
Practice went by. Qualifying was good.  
Hello and welcome to Melbourne, Australia! We're here at Albert Park Circuit, which is well known for hosting the first race of the Formula 1 season, the Australian Grand Prix! Your commentary team today is your author, shakhmaty, Tony, and Kumajirō!  
Sounds cool, limeys!  
Who's number 19?  
Sounds personal, buddy.

Google the track layout!  
Anyways, Germany is starting on pole today. The 1 is starting next to the 4 of Italy.  
2, 5  
8, 3  
11, 10  
6, 12  
7, 14  
15, 19  
18, 20  
16, 23  
22, 21  
17, 9  
Yep, that's Prussia starting at the back next to Taiwan today after having to switch to the backup car. And if that's not the FIA regulations, mind you, this ain't the FIA. I don't know what it is.

The weather is fine today. Cool March temperature, 20 Celsius,  
The cars line up behind the finish line.  
*heart pound  
heart pound  
heart pound  
heart pound  
heart pound*  
And the 2013 HF1 season is under way! Germany, blitzing the field into the first comer, railed by Italy! Norway right behind, then France and Russia!  
Man… just imagine the action…  
oh, Tony's fallen asleep.  
Lap 5, now, and everyone's spread out into a single file line. We ride on board with Italy in the Ferrari, still tailing Germany by less than a second. Oh, and that's Norway! Norway's made the move on Italy into sector 2! Red Bulls 1-2.  
Lap 6. Your order is GER, NOR, ITA, FRA, RUS, SPA, ENG, FRA, CHN, and BEL.  
On board with Belgium in the Mercedes, sat in tenth now, looking very feisty. Out of the final corner, using DRS on the straight, she takes ninth from China!  
Yellow flags in sector three, and it looks like Poland! Poland has spun into the gravel out of the penultimate corner. He will manage to rejoin the track… in last position.

We cut out the boring details, all 90% of them, as lap 23 begins with the first round of stops for the drivers. Everyone elected to start on the super soft (option) tires, so the mediums (primes) should take them to the end of the race.

After stops end on lap 30, your top ten is still GER, NOR, ITA, FRA, and SPA. Spain managed to take fifth from Russia during the stops. Next is ENG, FRA, BEL, and USA, who managed to take tenth after China took about two extra seconds in the pits… to repair the front wing of his Lotus.

Lap 40. Running order has not changed, and Germany has a lead of almost ten seconds to Italy behind.

Lap 42, and yellow flags out in sector 1! Two cars have crashed in turns 3 and 4, Poland and Belarus! Already bad luck for Poland, who was the only car not on the lead lap at the time, and that's those twos' days over. Green flags in turn 5.

** REPLAY **

We can see the Marussia of Belarus flying out of turn 1, about to lap Poland as well, when Poland, ooh, locks up and takes himself and Belarus off track and into the gravel.

By lap 43, the debris has been cleared, and the race is still running normally.

Lap 50, and it seems as if, seems as if Italy is managing to catch up to Germany! On board now, into Brabham and out of Jones (1 and 2), the gap shows two seconds! France and America are right behind him as well!

ITA less than one second behind GER as we enter Lap 55! FRA, ENG, USA, CHN, BEL, PRU, NOR, VIE in the points behind them. They're spread out pretty far, in stark contrast!

Lap 56, Italy right in Germany's slipstream, taking in the good and bad air! Down Clark and onto the curved straight into 11 and 12, Italy tries the move! Germany blocks him! On the run into Ascari, Italy down the inside! He's done it! Listen to the crowd! The #4 Ferrari of Italy into the lead! Germany's slowed! France and England catching up as well. America behind them!

Lap 58, the crowd is ecstatic! On board with Italy for the final lap, Germany more than five seconds behind now!

*vroom*

Looking down the final straight, and it's Italy! Checkered flag, Italy's won the Australian Grand Prix!

*slowly gearing down*

on board

*Italy pointing into the air*

"Fantastic job, buddy! That was amazing! What a way to start the season!"

"YEAH! VEEEE~!"

Germany comes second!

"Great job, Deutschland. You fought hard. Second place sehr gut. Sehr gut."

"Danke"

France in third.

"Honhonhon~"

As we look at the official standings, we watch the podium finishers pull into parc fermé.

Italy managed to finish the race in 1:33:12.101 with a fastest lap of 1:29.281 seconds. Germany finished +5.829 with the fastest lap of the race, 1:28.576. France finished +15.382 with a lap of 1:29.980.

There's Italy, bring congratulated by his crew, by his ally, and by his brother as he exits the Ferrari.

At the podium, Italy stands high and mighty as his anthem is played. The Ferrari crew is heard singing the words.

Italy, Romano, Germany, and France are presented with their respective trophies (1st, Constructor, 2nd, and 3rd.

Short interviews are short.

OFFICIAL RESULTS

Points!

1\. ITA

2\. GER

3\. FRA

4\. ENG

5\. USA

6\. SPA

7\. NOR

8\. BEL

9\. PRU

10\. VIE

Lack thereof!

11\. GRE

12\. RUS

13\. CHN

14\. TAI

15\. BUL

16\. HUN

17\. UKR

18\. MAC

19\. LIT

20\. CAN

-. POL

-. BLR

DRIVERS

1\. ITA 25

2\. GER 18

3\. FRA 15

4\. ENG 12

5\. USA 10

6\. SPA 8

7\. NOR 6

8\. BEL 4

9\. PRU 2

10\. VIE 1

CONSTRUCTORS

1\. FER 33

2\. RBR 24

3\. LOT 15

4\. MCL 12

5\. SAU 11

6\. MER 6

Correct me if I'm wrong! We'll see you next time for the Malaysian Grand Prix!


	3. Kuala Lumpur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Malaysian Grand Prix. Someone will make an impressive comeback. Also, it's raining.

Welcome to Sepang International Circuit in Malaysia's breath-taking capital, Kuala Lumpur, for today's Grand Prix! The Malaysian one, to be exact! Pirelli is dishing out the hard "prime" and medium "option" tires for the action this weekend, but it might not matter very much, as there is currently heavy rain out on the track! Looks like for qualifying, everyone will be using the full wet tires.

A long qualifying session over, and that's Spain who's managed to get pole with a time of 1:55.387 seconds. He's followed by his teammate, Italy, with a time of 1:55.678 seconds, which means the front row is a Ferrari lockout! Sounds good, as you'll expect most everyone in the world (outside Europe, maybe) to support the famous Italian manufacturer. The second row is filled up by both Red Bulls, Norway and Germany. Behind them, England and China.

3, 4

2, 1

5, 7

8, 10

11, 12

9, 6

15, 17

16, 19

14, 20

21, 22

23, 18

The rain is still pouring as the drivers line up on track. It only seems to get darker as only the red lights illuminate the area!

*doki doki doki doki doki*

Lights out, go go go go! The cars start slowly, but the spray begins flying much more quickly! Germany! Having trouble on the start, getting overtaken left and right down the straight and into turn 1! Cars still bunched up, Spain and Italy nearly neck and neck through the sweeping turn 2 and back up the hill to turn 3! And oh days! Collision near the back of the field! Canada, Lithuania, Belarus, spun round before turn 4! Yellow flags out.

Who?

Canada, Lithuania, and Belarus. That's 19, 21, and 23.

Who's 19?

I told you, Canada. Shut up, Kusakabe.

That's not even a Japanese name...

Exactly!

"Huh... I'm out at the first sector, and my bear doesn't even know who I am..."

**REPLAY**

Out of turn 3, Canada got loose, then spun on the straight, collecting Lithuania and Belarus in the process. Hard to see with the spray, the aftermath and the damage more visible after the fact! They're exiting the cars, and we're being told that the safety car has been deployed!

You know what? You suck at commentary! How many times do I have to tell you!

Oh crap, it's that guy! Tony!

Limey bastard!

*shotgun blast*

Ha! I brought a bullet-proof vest this time -

*shotgun blast*

Next time, cover your face. Jackass.

The safety car comes in as Lap 5 begins! Looking at the forecast, it, uh, seems that the rain will be dying down in twenty minutes' time. That means... there'll probably be rain until Lap 15.

Lap 15, the running order is SPA, ITA, NOR, ENG, CHN, GER, FRA, BEL, PRU, USA, RUS. The forecast was correct - and the rain has lessened, the clouds are disappearing, and this race could continue under just a few clouds in a few laps' time.

On board with Italy, two seconds behind Spain as they enter second three. The TV pod camera is covered in rain drops, but they seem to be lessening in number every lap. Look at the rain, and you'll see there's not a lot of it.

Lap 18, and it seems that some of the leaders are entering the pits and changing onto the green-banded intermediate tires. Russia takes the lead on the blue-banded wet tires.

Lap 20, Russia seems to be struggling with the car. The rain has almost completely stopped now, and the track is still wet. And there he goes, into the pits! Spain regains the lead.

Lap 25, and Greece and Ukraine have entered the pits, making them the last to change onto... what?

Those limey bastards are changing onto the prime tire!

Sssh, Tony, they're not limey bastards. But, er, that's an interesting development! The track has nearly dried up completely, though it's still overcast in Kuala Lumpur. This could be interesting!

Lap 28, and Ukraine has, er, set the fastest lap of the race! 1:42.908 seconds to complete Lap 27, it has taken, for the only Marussia on track.

Lap 30. Everyone else seems to be heading into the pits. Ukraine is still on the lead lap, but she's got some catching up to do, so there is little advantage there.

Lap 32, pit stop rounds have ended, and the running order features a new leader in Germany! The race is almost over now, so he'll be hoping to win this one. GER, SPA, ITA, NOR, FRA, ENG, CHN, USA, GRE, UKR... in the points-paying positions.

Lap 35, and something interesting has occurred. Greece has overtaken America and China and is now in seventh place! That is some fantastic driving from the man in the Toro Rosso. The wild-minded amongst you may think he has a chance of winning this race

no he doesn't. China has retaken him. Greece down to eighth.

Lap 39, Poland has retired from the race with what seems to be a gearbox failure. Certainly not the way he or Caterham wanted to start his season. Only eighteen cars in the running now.

Lap 43, Hungary has also retired from the race, for reasons unknown at this time. 17 cars remain.

Also a gearbox failure. With the many gear changes and high gearing on this track, it is not as surprising as you may believe.

Ten laps to go, Germany is still in the lead. In fact, the running order is still the same as at Lap 32, as Greece has moved in front of China again. GER, SPA, ITA, NOR, FRA, ENG, CHN, USA, GRE, UKR...

Italy makes the move on Spain down the penultimate straight, and he's taken second from his teammate out of the final 15th corner!

Riding on board with Italy again, Germany is only two corners ahead. What a understatement, that puts him about ten seconds behind. It seems Germany may get away with this one, but with what happened last race...

Zzzzz...

Wake up, idiot!

Sorry HOLY SHIT! Lap 54, Greece is in second! We have to speed up the past few laps! Riding on board...

Greece got past England and France on Lap 50... past Spain on 51... and past Italy on 53! Next lap, and he's only three seconds behind Germany! I wouldn't want to be the Red Bull getting chased by the Toro Rosso right now! The sun comes out of the clouds and shines brightly over the track now.

Lap 56, Greece right on Germany's ass as they begin sector 2! They blitz through! Heading down into turn 9 and Greece has done it! He's made the move, and that is a fine overtake! Greece with the lead now! Moving at medium speed through the final sector, Germany right behind Greece! He has DRS down the penultimate straight, but can't get the speed! Final corner! Germany has DRS again down this straight, but it's for not

as Greece wins the Malaysian Grand Prix! Can you believe it?

I can!

"Great race there, Greece! Fantastic job, well-deserved! Haven't been this relieved since Vettel won years ago!" Oh Luxembourg...

"I won. Yes..."

"Guten job, zere, Deutschland. Second is not bad, not bad at all."

"Ja, OK, shutten zie up, Österreich..."

Italy finishes third!

"Good job there, Veneziano."

"Grazie, Romano..."

Parc ferme, now, and Greece still has a blank expression on his face as he exits the car to the cheers of his Toro Rosso teammates. Germany waves and walks quietly into the victory room. Italy is also congratulated on the second podium in a row by his teammates. The Tifosi seem pretty satisfied with the result.

Greece, Luxembourg, Germany, and Italy receive the 1st, C, 2nd, and 3rd place trophies and spray each other with champagne.

Official Results:

1\. GRE 1:49:31.555

2\. GER +0.428

3\. ITA +7.231

4\. SPA +10.231

5\. CHN +15.311

6\. FRA +18.313

7\. ENG +23.756

8\. PRU +28.121

9\. UKR +37.311

10\. USA +39.213

no points

11\. RUS +45.313

12\. BUL +48.213

13\. NOR +50.314

14\. BEL +58.780

15\. MAC +1:10.281

16\. VIE - 1 lap

17\. TAI -1 lap

-. HUN

-. POL

-. CAN

-. BLR

-. LIT

DRIVERS

1\. ITA 40

2\. GER 36

3\. GRE 25

4\. FRA 23

5\. SPA 20

6\. ENG 18

_I sense a rivalry brewing..._

7\. USA 11

8\. CHN 10

9\. PRU 6

10\. NOR 6

11\. BEL 4

12\. UKR 2

13\. VIE 1

CONSTRUCTORS

1\. Ferrari 60

2\. Red Bull 42

3\. Lotus 33

4\. Toro Rosso 25

5\. McLaren 18

6\. Sauber 12

7\. Mercedes 10

8\. Marussia 2

**See you in Shanghai, where anyone who gets a black and white flag _will_ be liberated... from life, by the People's Liberation Army! Or, er, just shot... by the People's Armed Police. Not much of a service for the people...**


	4. Shanghai

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Chinese Grand Prix. How biased will the Chinese fans be, and will their home man bring home the win today?

Meetings ahead of the Chinese Grand Prix

GENEVA

"OK, here's the plan. Vi are only looking for the Constructors' Championship. You two need to help each other out and not get in each other's vay."

"All right then."

"La oss spille!"

MARANELLO

"OK, Spain. I get to boss you around. Veneziano is #1 driver around here, so he tells you what to do. I too!"

"Vos sois una pieza de mierda…"

"OK! Here's my plan! Surrender, eat, and go to bed!"

"Fine, I'll work the strategy…"

HONG KONG

"I'll leave England to it."

"Right then. Russia! You're my per!"

"Okay then… kolkol."

Wow, what fun.

TALLINN

"Time for simulator work, guys! China, we're counting on you to win your home Grand Prix, so go out there and have fun!"

"没有问题！"

"Honhonhon~ guess I have to disappoint the proletariat. Should be easy! *peck*"

RIGA

"Okay guys, any ideas?"

"I'm the awesome one, so I'm calling zie shots! Belgium! You follow me! If you get ahead of me, run vide so I can retake the position!"

"That doesn't sound very fair."

"Trust me, it vill vork."

"I may be a pretty blonde virgin, but I'm not stupid. Big bro!"

"Fuck with my sister and it is your head, douchebag."

"Ok. LOL."

VADUZ

"OK. I'm leaving now. Liechtenstein can help you…"

"Big bruder?!"

"Well, NASCAR and this ain't too different, so it should be easy!"

"America, this is not turning left four times for hours."

"Exactly! Let me show you Sonoma and Watkins Glen. Notice anything?"

"They're F1 courses."

"Nope! But they could be! NASCAR visits these guys every year! In fact, between all the D-ovals and tri-ovals and Pocono and Phoenix and Indy and the few true ovals, ever since the first season of NASCAR, there's always been at least one road course on the calendar! One with right turns! (Then again, the people who win there are usually from other motorsports…)"

"Ah. I see. So sorry, America."

"Nah, don't worry, Vietnam. So here's my plan - set the wedge to the left site of the car!"

（∂ω∂)＼(¬_¬)

NEW DEHLI

"Hey Hungary! You look damn fine in that fire suit!"

"Whatever, India."

"Hello Hungary."

"Hi, Bulgaria…"

Uh…

OPORTO

"Oh dear, it says we won't do well at our enemies' place…"

"I already told ya, the Taiwanese don't believe in bad fortunes! We got this!"

"OK, Taiwan. I believe you." Oh Macau… such a lad…

LUXEMBOURG CITY

"Do you… like cats… Luxembourg?"

"Yeah, they're ok. Wait… isn't there supposed to be someone else here?"

"I'm here!"

"Well, Korea's here… someone else is supposed to be here… right?"

"Yeah… I think so…"

HAT YAI

"Thailand. This isn't an elephant race…"

"Okay. Anyways, Lithuania, you're going to race behind me and crash at the next race!"

"Wait what?"

"Crash at the next race to boost my chances of winning!"

"What? No!"

"Don't make me turn against you, broheim…"

BRATISLAVA

"Yay! Marussia's headquartered at my house!"

"It's not such a big deal."

Slovakia pouted.

"Listen, Czech. Listen to me. Slovakia genuinely feels bad because you've been a jerk to him. I managed to get along with my brother just fine! That's because I always praised him for what he did! And he loved me even though I was poor! The point is, you should be nicer to Slovakia cause, well… he really loves you."

"Eh?"

"As long as he is not in love with big brother."

"Really, Slovakia? You're in love with me?"

"Of course he is! You've not even noticed!"

"Wow, Slovakia, I'm… I'm sorry…"

Slovakia: (´Д`; )

"I thought this was a team meeting… by the way, I'm hungry. Yo Ukraine! Can I feed off you?"

"Well, I'm of age, so if you take responsibility and, er, don't make it hurt  _too_  much… I guess I wouldn't mind. Gotta help my neighbors out as much as I can, anyways. Here you go."

Romania: (O_O) "Damn! So serious! Er… wow. OK. Never mind."

"I can never do anything right…" T_T

"Don't feel that way, Ukraina!"

 **Kay guys, let get the hell out of here! Wow. This has been weird. Should've just skipped straight to China, wait, what's that?**  We're doing that right now? Oh. Well then…! Welcome to Shanghai International Circuit in the People's Republic of China! This circuit is fairly new and is more challenging than it seems. Because of the large population of China, usually this race is filled to the brim with spectators! We remind you that most of them are Tifosi because of the large international recognition of the Ferrari brand, but it doesn't seem so today! Nay, seems most of the crowd is cheering for their home man, the King (Wang)! Lotus flags everywhere! They will probably boo Taiwan when she heads to track. And Vietnam. And America. And England. And France. And Russia. And Canada. And Germany. And Australia. And even Italy and Spain. Wow. Well then. However, when China rolls out for Q1, he is met with a massive roar from the crowd! They're singing "I love Beijing Tiananmen" at the moment! Oh brother!

Starting Order!

Guess who's on pole!

Guess who's in 6th and 14th!

Guess who's the #11 starting in 11th!

7, 2

1, 4

3, 17

5, 6

8, 9

11, 10

12, 16

15, 14

18, 20

19, 22

21, 23

*doki doki doki doki doki doki*

Lights out, go go go go! And at the first corner, Norway gets ahead of China down the straight to the jeers of everyone in the stands! Norway into the lead, we ride on board with China, who is attempting to fend off a charging Germany through the long turn 2, very difficult left-handers, down the short straight and through turn 5 to the hairpin at turn 6, where China has managed to line in front of Germany! Chasing down the German's teammate Norway as they take the double apex turn 7 and China runs wide! Wide at turn 7, Germany and Italy get through! China down to fourth.

Lap 5, Norway still has the lead, being followed by teammate Germany. Next is Spain, China, and Italy. Taiwan, England, France, Russia, and America behind them.

We return as the crowd cheers to find that China has moved past Spain on Lap 8 and is back on the podium! On board again, Germany is about two seconds ahead. Close enough for the Chinese man as the field roars, still fairly bunched up, down the back straight! The back straight which extends past every other point on the track. Damn that's fast! DRS is helping the situation a lot here as the cars slow down into turns 14 and 15 EXCEPT HUNGARY! She's off in turn 14! Ran just wide there, it looked, but that's the Force India all the way into last place after recovering! On board with Hungary now, five seconds behind 21st placed Poland. After Hungary crosses the finish line to start Lap 9, Norway and Germany are already speeding out of turns 3 and 4. There's an idea of how far behind last place is from first.

Lap 10! China's run wide at turn 7 again! Things are not looking to good for the home man, as Spain, Italy, and Taiwan have managed to get passed! Listen to the boos from the crowd! I can't tell what or whom they're booing at, but it's certain that they are very heavily biased!

Listening to China's radio, he is apparently being phoned by a CPC official.

"确保台湾不完成比赛。"

Once again on board with China as they begin to head down the back straight, he is running right behind the Williams of Taiwan. He's got DRS down the long back straight. Getting ready to brake for turn 14 - !

China's smashed Taiwan off! That's a horrible accident! Wow!

** REPLAY **

China is using DRS down the straight, and he pushes straight into Taiwan, breaking his front wing but completely smashing the gearbox of the other car and causing the rear right tire to come off. Taiwan's 3-wheeled car coasts into the barrier at the end of the runoff. China limps his way into the pits, presumably to get his front wing repaired, what's this? Black flags!

China's been disqualified from the race for unsportsmanlike behavior! While the grandstands on the back straight and in turns 14 and 15 are booming with communists cheering at the Williams wreckage, the front straight crowd is booing and expressing sadness and disbelief at their hero's actions! What drama has unfolded here!

*piece of paper with  _drama_  written on it*

*unfolds*

*reveals  _unfolded drama*_

You stole that joke from IntoTheBarrier.

I know.

Two people out of the race here before even a quarter has been completed. Yellow flags out in sector 3, green flags through sector 1, as every single FIA worker who is Chinese is ignoring the wrecked car of Taiwan. They leave the work of extracting the ruins off track to the foreigners, wanting nothing to do with the innocent driver leaving the ruins right now. Small fires are seen from the car as Taiwan runs off and is picked up by medical personnel - from Switzerland.

By lap 15, only 20 cars left in the race by the time the Williams wreckage has been lifted off of the side of the track and out of the way. Norway, Germany, and Spain are fighting for the various podium spots.

Lap 20: NOR, GER, SPA, ITA, PRU, BEL, BUL, ENG, USA, FRA

Lap 25, and pit stops are starting.

Lap 38, pit stops are ending. WOW. What a difference starting on primes and options makes.

It seems that Norway and Germany had some trouble in the pits, and they're currently running at the latter end of the top ten. Spain currently has the lead, and he's followed by Prussia and England as we enter lap 40.

Lap 50, now, six laps till the end, and it's been pretty uneventful… so far… the crowd is still very silent and not stirring. The order is SPA, ENG, PRU, BEL, ITA, Macau, who's managed to past the Red Bulls to the slight jeers of the crowd. Then GRE, GER, NOR, and BUL, in the points spots.

Lap 51, on board with England, whose McLaren is looking very feisty behind Spain's Ferrari. Down the back straight, England opens up the DRS, and he has made the overtake before the brake zone into turn 14! Fantastic move there, placing Spain down in second yet again!

Lap 53, and Spain is slowing about it in sector 2 - what? He's running low on fuel, slowing down each lap in a last-ditch effort to save it! England is leaving the field for chips now!

Lap 56, ten seconds ahead of the two Mercedes cars, England wins the Chinese Grand Prix! The crowd says, in unison, Yay (耶)."

"Good job there, England, we sure showed those communists."

"We're playing for England! (England!) We're playing the song! Ahahahahaha… Thanks HK. Glad China hasn't messed you up too much. Promise I'll be there June 4 -"

Apparently CPC officials have jammed the radio waves here, for which we hope Bernie will punish them severely and justly.

England exits the McLaren in parc fermé and is cheered on by his team, who call him "wanker" as they hug him. England heads into the victory room, flipping two fingers at the PR Chinese flag. Prussia and Belgium, Mercedes teammates, share hugs and back pats with each other, and get drawn into the cheers of their mates. They walk into the victory room as well and group hug with England for a picture.

At the podium, everyone boos as the British national anthem is played. England is not impressed. However, since Hong Kong is team boss, the Chinese anthem is played, where the crowd jumps in and waves their banners proudly:

前进！各民族英雄的人民！  
伟大的共产党*  
领导我们继续长征。  
万众一心奔向共产主义明天，  
建设祖国保卫祖国英勇地斗争。  
前进！前进！前进！  
我们千秋万代  
高举毛泽东旗帜，前进！  
高举毛泽东旗帜，前进！  
前进！ 前进！ 进！

Yeah yeah, move forward, unlike your mate who decided to get himself disqualified.

OFFICIAL RACE RESULTS

1\. ENG 1:45:38.210

2\. PRU +9.329

3\. BEL +9.909

4\. ITA +12.291

Macau is elated about his top five finish today, knowing that the fans will be displeased. +15.728

Greece is more or less happy, indifferent about his second points finish. +16.890

7\. GER +18.122

Bulgaria is happy about his first points finish, as is Force India. +23.391

9\. SPA +29.201

10\. NOR +45.002

11\. USA +52.281

12\. CAN +1:07.291

13\. VIE +1:20:087

14\. FRA +1:34.291

15\. POL +1:35.211

16\. RUS -1 lap

17\. BLR -1 lap

18\. LIT -1 lap

19\. UKR -1 lap

20\. HUN -2 laps

-. TAI

DSQ. CHN

DRIVERS

1\. ITA 52

2\. GER 42

3\. ENG 43

4\. GRE 33

5\. PRU 24

6\. FRA 23

7\. SPA 22

8\. BEL 19

9\. USA 11

10\. CHN 10

11\. NOR 7

12\. BUL 4

13\. UKR 2

14\. Vietnam: "I am perfectly content with my point."

CONSTRUCTORS

1\. Ferrari 74

Red Bull 49

Mercedes 43

McLaren 33

Lotus 33

Toro Rosso 33

Sauber 12

Williams 10

Force India 4

Marussia 1

_I've just received word that this race has been censored in mainland China._

**See you next time in Bahrain, where we'll be praying to God (not Allah) that there isn't a civil war taking place within a hundred mile radius of Sakhir!**


	5. Sakhir

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Bahrain Grand Prix. Will the race be overrun by protestors and or rebels?

We got the chance to interview everyone participating in the next Grand Prix, how coincidental!

"So Germany, how do you think your season is going so far, and what are you expecting from the rest of it?"

"Vell, I think zie competition is, uh, very gut. I know I have a great car, very fast, very powerful, but I think so do zie others. I don't think I've been very lucky so far, but I'm villi my to believe zat I vil… uh… do very vell."

"So Norway, how do you think you'll do this season?"

"I think I'll contend for the top five."

"So Spain, what are you expecting from this season?"

"I know I have un equipo gran y un carro fabuloso, so I'm really hoping to finish in the top three."

"So Italy, do you think you can win the championship this year?"

"If I get enough pizza, merendas, and siestas, definitely! Ve~"

"England! How do you think you'll do this season?"

"Can't let God or country down, so I'll be showing them wankers what Formula 1 really is! Definitely looking to win the world title."

"So Russia. How do you think you'll do this season?"

"Eh? Oh, just fine, I guess."

*waves fingers in coo-coo fashion*

"Iceland! It's your first race this season. How do you think you will do in Bahrain?"

"The Lotus car is really good, so I think I can finish in the points."

"How do you think you'll do this season, France?"

"I think I can score a girlfriend from every country. I've already got Anna, Lisa, and Lihua, so I'm really hoping the Bahraini girl are cute! *peck*"

Okay then. Anyways. Prussia! How well do you think you'll do this year!"

"Vell, awesome me is obviously going to win the world championship. I'm already doing pretty vell for myself, so I've got zis. I've got zis by zie vital regions."

"Belgium, what are your goals for the season?"

"If I can win a race I'll be happy~"

"America! Your home boys are really hoping you'll do well this season. Think you can do them proud?"

"Of course I can! I've got a great team, a great teammate, a great car, and some great sponsors. Let's see, I have to give thanks to God, first, then, let's see, Cholula! Yeah. And Claro, and Telcel, and Banamex, and Vietnam, my teammate, she's really cool, bald eagles, democracy, UBS, H&K, the Democratic Party, Oxxo, 7-Eleven, Miller Lite, Coca-Cola, Menard's, Nationwide, State Farm, Cox, Sharp, Nintendo…"

"So Vietnam. What are you hoping for this season?"

"First, I am really glad that the Western nations introduced this to me. It is very fun, exhilarating. I think if I can get a podium, I will be happy."

"How do you like your teammate?"

"Ah yes, I know the fans want to know. I like America a lot. People find that hard to believe, but it is true! …it's hard to explain."

"So Hungary, what are you hoping or this season?"

"My goal is to defeat that demon douche Prussia!"

"Have fun with that! Bulgaria! What are your goals for this year?"

"Have fun!"

"Sounds great!

Macau?"

"Well, I guess I am here for the thrills and crashes and gambling."

"Yep. Lots of that. Taiwan! We all feel really bad about that that pinko commie bastard did last race. If you can put that aside, what's your goal this season?"

"To beat that bastard!"

"Sounds like a plan! Greece! You've already shocked most everyone after winning Malaysia. Think you're going to try for the world title?"

"Mm. Hmm. Yeah, I guess."

Greece is pretty cool.

"Canada?"

"I'm here to have fun and make a name for myself!"

"Who are you?"

"Your sense of humor's exhaustion."

"Ah. I see."

Poland! How do you think you'll do this season?"

"Win each of the last races after bending the rules a bit!"

"Good one. Lithuania?"

"Sorry, bruv! Can't let you do that."

"Ukraine! How's the car fitting to your body?"

"Erm, that's an unusual question. Just fine…?"

"Planning to show the front runners who is boss?"

"Definitely. If we can at least beat Caterham we'll earn enough money to keep going."

"Belarus?"

"Do well enough so that big brother will notice and beg on his knees for my hand in marriage."

Righty then. Uh, China will have to sit out this race, so Iceland will be in his car for today's race at the Bahrain International Circuit in Sakhir for the Bahrain Grand Prix! This race always seems to be a subject of controversy, but isn't this entire series? Oh, Himaruya. Anyways, enough jibber-jabber! Let the race begin!

Germany on pole here.

1, 4

2, 5

10, 3

9, 6

7, 12

11, 14

8, 22

15, 17

16, 19

18, 20

21, 23

We have… one light

And we are away now! Italy cruises to the inside before turn 1, sweeps the lead of Germany and Norway has gotten by as well! It's almost all the proof necessary to confirm that Germany is terrible off the starting line, and has just had a bad run of luck at the start of the season. Italy up into first there.

Lap 10, the positions haven't changed other than Italy and Norway ahead of Germany, and Ukraine in front of Poland. Not that the latter will have any effect on the race. ITA, NOR, GER, ENG, BEL, SPA, PRU, RUS, FRA, VIE.

It's Lap 13, and out of nowhere Italy has pulled into the pits and is retired from the race! We managed to pick up an earlier radio transmission:

"Guys! Guys! Big problemo, it's the - AAAAAAAAHHHHH! DIO!"

"Right, Veneziano, calm down. Engine off. Engine off."

Naturally, yellow flags were waved all across the track as Italy coasted to the pit lane.

Lap 15. After this has occurred, Germany has actually managed to gain the lead for once over his teammate. Running is GER, NOR, ENG, BEL, SPA, PRU, RUS, FRA, VIE, USA.

Lap 16, and we have confirmed what has occurred to result in Italy's retirement from the Grand Prix - explosive diarrhea. Yes, Italy has had to take a grand shit, and I can smell the merda from the commentary box. Italy is apparently placing the blame on pasta made in the United Kingdom. No surprise there. England running in third likely has zero shame.

Lap 22, and France and Bulgaria have crashed in sector 2!

**REPLAY**

On the run into 10, Bulgaria has locked up there and rammed straight into France. The two Sauber cars barely manage to get by as the Lotus and Force India slide off track. Green flags in sector 3.

Lap 25, the cars are heading into the pits left and right.

Lap 30, pit stops are done for the day.

Another crash has occurred on Lap 32, Ukraine and Poland out! The back markers have had absolutely no luck at all so far, and that's five people out of the race now.

**REPLAY**

Poland is driving erratically in front of Ukraine, whom we are riding on board with. Turn 4, Ukraine heads down the inside, Poland goes for the undercut, spins her out, breaks his front wing, and slides into the barrier. Ukraine's rear right tire is still rolling down the hill as the safety car is deployed. Germany still in the lead.

Germany leads the field on Lap 35 to the restart, er, yeah.

Lap 50, nothing much has occurred other than Belarus's retirement from the race. Seems that the race can never be finished by two Caterham cars and two Marussia cars. Lap 51, Germany has left Norway in the dust, about an entire sector ahead of his teammate.

Lap 52, Norway has been slowing about it and has been replaced by Belgium in second. Russia stays in third.

And Germany wins the race by about thirty seconds! The man was looking to change his luck, and it looks like he's done it. The crowd is cheering.

"Good job, Deutschland."

"Danke, Österrich."

Belgium finishes second.

"Good job Belgium!"

"Thank you!"

Russia finished third.

"Fantastic work, Russia."

"Спасибо. Большое спасибо."

At parc fermé, Germany's first order of business is to jump into the air, scream bloody murder, pump his right fist, and get smothered by his team members. Belgium gives him a pat on the shoulder and shakes her team members' hands. Russia wraps his arms around both of them as they awkwardly stroll onto the podium where an indifferent Austria is already standing.

We forgot about the champagne! Germany and Belgium spray each other, around and sprays Austria, Russia sprays all three, and they all wave to the crowd before taking a huge sip.

We look at the respective garages.

_Red Bull_

Norway was having fuel problems and finished in 12th today, losing ten positions in the process from after the pit stop window.

_Ferrari_

Spain managed 7th today, and is shaking his team members' hands. Italy is still recovering from the English pasta.

_McLaren_

England finished 6th, a result he is pretty pleased with.

_Lotus_

Iceland is heavily congratulated by his teammates for his first points finish in his F1 debut, finishing 8th and scoring 4 points in the process.

_Mercedes_

Prussia finished 4th today and is more or less happy for his podium-finishing teammate.

_Sauber_

Both Saubers managed to finish in the points today, America and Vietnam are pretty happy about that. So is Liechtenstein. Switzerland stayed home today.

And America is treating Vietnam to dinner tonight! How exciting.

_Force India_

Bulgaria and Hungary are not impressed.

_Williams_

Taiwan scored a point today. It was better than not, as long as she was closing in on China in the standings. Macau felt he had a good run today.

_Toro Rosso_

Greece and Canada did better than expected today, finishing 14th and 15th.

_Caterham_

Lithuania is just relieved he managed to finish in one piece.

_Marussia_

Ukraine didn't seem to sad about crashing today. Apparently Belarus retired late in the race as well.

RACE RESULTS

1\. GER 1:41:21.291

2\. BEL +34.383

3\. RUS +39.293

4\. PRU +47.281

5\. USA +1:01.213

6\. ENG +1:04.392

7\. SPA +1:10.889

8\. ICE +1:28.088

9\. VIE +1:34.312

10\. TAI +1 lap

11\. MAC +1 lap

12\. NOR+1 lap

13\. LIT +1 lap

14\. CAN +1 lap

15\. GRE +1 lap

16\. HUN +1 lap

17\. BLR (90%)

-. UKR

-. POL

-. FRA

-. BUL

-. ITA

DRIVERS?

1\. GER 67

New points leader!

2\. ITA 52

3\. ENG 51

4\. BEL 37

5\. PRU 36

6\. GRE 33

7\. SPA 28

8\. FRA 23

9\. USA 21

10\. RUS 15 I can't believe Russia's finally finished in the points.

11\. CHN 10

12\. NOR 7

13\. BUL 4

13\. ICE 4

15\. VIE 3

16\. UKR 2

17\. TAI 1

Who's not in the points, tho?

-. CAN

-. LIT

-. MAC

-. BLR

-. POL

-. LIT

CONSTRUCTORS

1\. Ferrari 80

2\. Red Bull 74

3\. Mercedes 73

4\. McLaren 56

5\. Lotus 37

6\. Toro Rosso

7\. Sauber 24

8\. Williams 11

9\. Force India 4

10\. Marussia 1

Hang in there, Caterham!

I just noticed an error on the last race drivers' champ. standings, not fixing it :)

**See you in Catalonia!**


	6. Barcelona

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Spanish Grand Prix. We expect the winner to dance.

Teams on their cars

_Red Bull-Renault (RB9)_

Germany: "Vell, it is a very nice car, I like the design of it a lot. It is very fast, vich is important, but it handles even better in the corners, vich is probably more important."

Norway: "When I'm in the cockpit, I feel like I've entered another dimension, a different world."

_Ferrari (F138)_

Spain: "It is one of the best cars I've ever driven, sí!"

Italy: "The way my body bounces up and down because of how close it is to the ground makes me laugh, which is good for the heart, sì!"

_McLaren-Mercedes (MP4-28)_

England: "Well, it just proves how great I am at making new, innovative creations to benefit mankind."

"Except for food."

"Fuck you, wanker!"

Russia: "I think it is good car. Kolkol."

Please stop saying that. That makes 0% sense.

_Lotus-Renault (E21)_

China: "It is all right."

"Good for crashing, though, right?"

"What crashing?"

*scans  _Global Times*_

France: "It is fantastic!"

Wow, these guys suck!

_Mercedes (F1 W04)_

Prussia: "It is awesome! Suits me perfectly!"

Belgium: "It is very fun to drive!"

_Sauber-Ferrari (C32)_

America: "It's awesome dudes! It may or may not be faster than a NASCAR Chevy SS, though!"

Vietnam: "I like it."

_Force India-Mercedes (VJM06)_

Hungary: "I like the design of the car a lot. It is also very fun to drive!"

Bulgaria: "I didn't imagine India was good at making cars, but he really got it right here! Now if only I could get some points..."

4 points is actually pretty good, mate.

_Toro Rosso-Ferrari (STR8)_

Greece: "...the car. ... Yeah. ... It is good."

Canada: "I'm going to totally beat those hosers at the sister team, eh? You agree, right?"

_Caterham (CT03)_

Poland: "I plan to put a turbo and nitrous oxide boost in it!"

Oh no you don't!

Lithuania: "I think it's OK, but I'm too scared to drive it sometimes. It seems evil..."

_Marussia (MR02)_

Ukraine: "So they weren't joking when they said that the cars are so carefully fitted to the driver!"

Belarus: "If only Russia was on the team and not just in the name. Oh, the car? I don't care. As long as I beat everyone else."

"Yeah, but the car has to be good for you to win."

"It doesn't matter if I crash everyone off."

"Before you did that you'd be disqualified."

"I do not need to listen to the idiot stewards."

*sigh*

Hello. Everyone... welcome to the Circuit de Catalunya in Barcelona, Spain, for the Spanish Grand Prix! Yeah. Let's do this!

Starting order! Germany on pole yet again, maybe he can win this time too.

1, 3

5, 4

2, 8

7, 10

9, 12

11, 14

6, 15

16, 17

18, 19

20, 22

23, 21

Lights out, go go go go! Germany with an impressive start there, has the lead out of turns 1 and 2 followed by the home boy Spain and his teammate Italy! Nothing more exhilarating than watching the cars fly through the entire circuit, rarely slowing or stopping until sectors 2 and 3! Wait... that's most of the track. There are plenty of straights and high-speed corners though, testing the straight-line speed and control of these complex machines!

That sounds so dumb!

We're already on lap 20, and it seems to be a boring race, the top three positions still commanded by Germany, Spain, and Italy. The order is GER, SPA, ITA, ENG, FRA, CHN, PRU, USA, BEL, NOR. In fact, it's been that way for... ooh, crikey, 17 laps so far.

Lap 21, and clouds have completely grayed out the once clear blue sky. The local weather station is reporting, in Catalan, that the possibility of rain is 80%.

Lap 28, the 4 in 5 chance comes true as light rain has begun falling around the area, dotting the track. Everyone is still out on the dry option tires, this could change very soon, and it's even more worrying as the options will probably give out and pit stops start around this time. It will be a serious gamble.

Lap 33, the rain has increased in speed and intensity, and it looks like most everyone is heading into the pits for intermediate tires. By lap 35, everyone is on the green-banded inters, and it's looking to be some heated wet racing!

Lap 35, France has spun into the gravel in turn 1! That's going to cost him greatly as he rejoins the track in, ooh, 11th position. That is a disaster for the Lotus driver who was running 7th at the time. Oh! It's a puncture! France's front left tire has about as much pressure as my ass cheeks, and he's going to have to limp the entire track to get to pit lane. Yellow flags out everywhere, and France has rejoined the race in last, 24th position, and has been lapped by still-leading Germany.

Oh. He's crying in the cockpit, not like the tears are showing against the still-intensely increasing rain.

Lap 40! The rain is probably still intermediate, but Spain has pulled into the pits and changed onto the wet tires, we'll have to see how that works out for him.

Lap 42, Spain has just set the fastest lap of the race, at 1:29.313, a remarkable feat considering the heavy rain falling right now! He is clearly dominating the field here! Spain has managed to get past Germany while he stops to change onto wet tires, and has the lead at his home Grand Prix!

Lap 46, the second round of pit stops is over, and Spain is leading the field. SPA, NOR, GER, ITA, PRU, BEL, CHN, USA, ENG, BEL.

Spain is *yawn* blitzing everyone else. He's managed to lap Hungary in 12th place and is closing in on Vietnam in 11th. Lap 60.

After a rather boring race made slightly exciting twice with the onset of rain, Spain wins what was an interestingly short Spanish Grand Prix.

"¡Sí! ¡Sí! ¡Gracias Jesús! Gracias mundo! ¡Los amo a todos!"

"I always knew you could do it, jerk bastard."

Italy finishes the race, ooh, 28 seconds later.

"Fratello Spain won? I'm so happy!"

"Good job on 2nd, you chummy bastard."

America lands his first podium!

"YEAH! THIRD PLACE HERO FUCKERS!"

"Congratulations America!"

"Aww, thank you, Liechtenstein."

"How fun. Whatever."

"Love you too, Switzy."

Parc ferme. Spain raises his arms into air, opening his mouth and letting the rain fall in. Weird. Italy pulls his big brother off of his #3 Ferrari and gives him a giant, wet hug. America gives them back pats and shakes his team members' hands. Lots of shaking of hands and hugs so far.

Podium! After receiving wet trophies, Spain and Italy spray each other while America gets to spray Romano with the champagne. They all wave as the camera floats into the distance. Oh, right, I forgot to mention, our cameraman is Lakitu! Yeah. Just realized that.

RACE RESULTS

An unprecedented result, everyone has managed to finish the race!

1\. SPA 1:44:21.980

2\. ITA +27.992

3\. USA +36.314

4\. PRU +40.421

5\. ENG +48.116

6\. BEL +1:00.031

7\. VIE +1:09.213

8\. NOR +1:10.342

9\. RUS +1:12.443

10\. GER +1:15.967

11\. GRE +1:19.134

12\. CHN +1:28.342

13\. HUN +1:29.093

14\. CAN +1 lap

15\. BUL +1 lap

16\. UKR +1 lap

17\. POL +1 lap

18\. France is so disappointed... *sigh*... +1 lap

19\. LIT +1 lap

Not the results we expected from the Williams today, Taiwan and Macau finishing 20th and 21st, respectively, two laps behind the leaders.

22\. BLR +2 laps

DRIVERS!

1\. Italy back in the lead with 70 points!

2\. GER 68

3\. ENG 61

It's really between Italy, Germany, and England so far, both with at least one win...

4\. SPA 53

That win really boosted Spain's position, he's gone from 7th to 4th in the space of one race!

5\. PRU 48

6\. BEL 45

Both Mercedes cars, doing great so far!

7\. USA 36

8\. GRE 33

9\. FRA 23

10\. RUS 16

11\. NOR 11

12\. CHN 10

13\. VIE 9

14\. BUL 4

15\. ICE 4

16\. UKR 2

17\. TAI 1

CONSTRUCTORS.

1\. Ferrari still with a commanding lead, they've broke the hundred barrier and have 123 points in their pockets!

2\. Mercedes is now in second, ahead of Red Bull, with 93 points!

3\. Red Bull 79

4\. McLaren 68

5\. Sauber 45

6\. Lotus 37

7\. Toro Rosso still has 25! Noticed that error last race too!

8\. Williams 11

9\. Force India 4

10\. Marussia 1

11\. Caterham, we love you!

**It seems like the series is kind of boring. The pre-race segments seem to vainly try to distract from the short story about the race, which is more like a highlights reel, and the points standings (which I end up making errors with in one way or another) probably take up the most space. But not to worry! Next race is Monaco, and she is predicting stormy weather more fit for the English summer! Be there or... aw, fuck it.**


	7. Monte Carlo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Monaco Grand Prix. It will be carnage.

What do the teams do when they're not racing?

_Red Bull_

Germany and Norway spend a lot of their time playing football (soccer) and watching it, too. They are both avid Bayern Munich supporters and watch every single game, even if they have to tape it. They also do food taste tests of American and Asian foods. Austria participates too, but alienates them all in the process.

_Ferrari_

Spain and Italy spend a lot of their time eating and sleeping, then being force to burn off the calories and fat by team boss Romano.

_McLaren_

England and Russia like to play FIFA on the McLaren office's XBOX One. And after watching FC Barcelona vs. Real Madrid for the umpteenth time, I'm out of here. By the way, Russia brings the food, and watching England get drunk on one shot of vodka then attempting to play is more entertaining than this entire story has been.

_Lotus_

China and France were in the Gourmet Club, or something, back at the W Academy. Nowadays they still like to visit each other and try new food. Seems to be a lot of eating so far.

_Mercedes_

Prussia and Belgium both love chocolate and beer, liquor in general, so why not combine the two? Yes, the "Mercedes Chocolate with Alcohol," as its test name translates, is very popular in northern Europe. Also, they like to play football. Belgium wins often.

_Sauber_

Hey, is that America slurping pho in a loud annoying manner and Vietnam wincing as she bites into a cheeseburger? Oh well. When they are done they play FIFA. FIFA, and football in general, seems to be popular among most F1 fans.

_Force India_

Hungary and Belgium are playing Wolfenstein: The New Order on two different TVs to see who can beat the game first. Sounds pretty cool.

_Williams_

Taiwan and Macau are at a ramen shop right now. They spend two hours there then head off for the casinos in Monaco... hey...

_Toro Rosso_

Greece and Canada hang out with a bunch of cats. Also, gyros and maple syrup-flavored cookies and ketchup-favored Lays. YES. Those last two are real Canadian things.

_Caterham_

Poland and Lithuania like FIFA, even though Poland usually finds one way or another to cheat. Also, he buys coins off third-party sites a lot.

_Marussia_

Uh... Belarus is currently trying to shrink Ukraine's bust. We hope she succeeds.

Hello and welcome to the fabulous streets of Monaco on which the well-named Monaco Grand Prix is about to take place! It will be very exciting, as even to the most experienced and seasoned drivers, this track is widely guarded as one of the most difficult in F1 history, if not  _the_ most difficult ever! The anxiety started in practice, where France crashed his car and had to switch to the backup one, giving him a ten-grid place penalty for the race today. LA OSS SPILLE!

China is on pole today, next to Germany.

7, 1

2, 4

3, 6

10, 5

11, 12

14, 18

8, 9

15, 16

17, 19

20, 23

22, 21

Lights out, go go go! GO! Germany has the better start, manages to beat China to Sainte Devote! The cars fly through Beau Rivage! THEY FLY! MASSIVE CRASH *cough* in turn 2, many cars out there! Red flags already!

**REPLAY**

We ride on board with America, who was running tenth at the time, as he exits turn 1. In front of him, we see Italy get turned by Russia as they go though the thin curvy straight. Italy is piled into the wall, and his car flies over that of America. He gets by fine and narrowly misses Russia as the battered McLaren runs straight into the barrier at turn 3. Switching to France who was in 14th place, Italy is parallel to the racing line, England gets collected. Belgium, Vietnam, and Greece get by fine, almost miraculously. No such luck for Hungary or Prussia, who get plowed straight in by France, the camera goes dead, and oh... man. That is a massive accident. Macau breaks his front wing on the rapidly slowing car of Bulgaria in front, who managed to stop right in front of the totaled Lotus of France. That is Taiwan, Canada, Poland, Ukraine, Belarus, and Lithuania parked just out of turn 2, staring at the impressive wreckage.

We are currently listening to Monaco cheering wildly. She is ecstatic. It's almost as if every year she prays for a crash. God is doing an absolutely fantastic job at answering her prayers. Of course, commiserations to Italy, Russia, France, England, Hungary, Prussia, and maybe even Macau.

It's been 24 minutes since the initial red flags of the race, and light rain is beginning to fall here in Monaco. The morale of the drivers lucky enough to avoid the accident has probably dropped to the level of those of the unlucky ones.

A full hour has passed, and the wreckage has finally been cleaned up completely. Everyone is cheering in the light rain.

The entire race will be restarted, Germany starting in first in front of China. Italy, Russia, France, England, Hungary, and Prussia out of this race. Macau is starting in last.

1, 7

2, 10

3, 12

11, 15

19, 17

18, 20

21, 23

22, 16

Lights going out once again, go go go! Germany starting off impressively yet again on the intermediate tires, in front of China out of Saint Devote! I can't look!

They've all made it on the run to Massenet, into and out of Casino into sector 2! Germany leading China and Norway into the Grand Hotel Hairpin... Norway gets loose! Spun and facing backwards towards traffic! Double yellow flags out as Norway takes up nearly half of the space out of the hairpin. Green flags in Portier, everyone manages to shuffle by Norway without harm. That has cost Norway so much time, he's spun the car back round and is up and running again back in 16th, which is last now. Just a disaster. Light rain not improving the situation now, but for teammate Germany, it's gone well as he is flying through the tunnel! Listen to the roar as the cars go through! Slowing for Nouvelle, then through Tablac and and Louis Chiron into and out of the Pool, into Rascasse and out of Anthony Nouges, Germany starts lap 2 with a two second lead over China!

Lap 10, rain at a constant rate... GER, CHN, BEL, SPA, VIE, USA, BUL, CAN, TAI, GRE. Then it's Poland, Lithuania, Belarus, Macau, Ukraine, and Norway in the last six positions.

On board with China. Germany is a distant memory up ahead, but China is under immense pressure from Belgium as they run through the tunnel. The Nouvelle Chicane could be a good overtaking point on a good day, Belgium not taking it. On board with her now, tailing China. They run through turns 12 and 17. Belgium goes a bit wide at La Rascasse, but she's managed to stay within a second of China and has DRS down the front straight. China tries to fight back, using up nearly all the KERS before the start/finish line, but Belgium makes the move into turn 1! Done and dusted! Belgium into second now, we'll wish her luck ten seconds behind Germany.

Lap 17, and Spain has managed to get the pass on China through the Tunnel.

Oh dear! Crash in the Nouvelle Chicane! Who's out there now? It is... Bulgaria and Poland! Straight into the barrier! Spain and China slow by!

**REPLAY**

On board with Poland... damn. He's locked up and pushed himself and Bulgaria straight into the barrier on the right side of the chicane exit. Poland was only recently lapped, and Bulgaria was running 7th at the time. The Force Indias always seem to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and the Caterhams and Marussias have been victims of nearly every accident this season. The safety car has been deployed, and it seems like Germany's lead is now for not!

Bulgaria and Poland now out as well, leaving 14 cars left in this rain. The forecast says that they rain could either go away or get worse, depending on how the wind responds.

Safety car in on lap 22, the order is GER, BEL, SPA, USA, CHN, VIE, NOR, TAI, GRE, CAN. Both Toro Rossos at the tail end in the points right now. Then it's Macau, Ukraine, Belarus, and Lithuania. Lithuania has been the most overtaken car so far this season, an unenviable honor.

The cars blitz out of turn 19 as the green lights and flags shine and wave trackwide, with Germany immediately blitzing Belgium over the finish line! He is clearly faster than the other cars out on track now, and we will have to see how great a difference that will make, as the rain seems to be coming down a little harder. All of the cars are currently running intermediates, but maybe once again, in only 1/3 of the season, they may have to be getting on full wets.

Lap 25, and Lithuania running last has pulled into the pits and is changing onto the option tires! The rain is still coming at this rate, so God knows what's going on in the Caterham driver's mind. A sense of YOLO? Maybe. Germany and Belgium get by Lithuania as he exits the pits, putting him a full lap down. Spain passes the blue-flagged driver on the run into turn 4.

Lap 29, and the rain has all but stopped! Only an occasional droplet or sprinkle dots the track and cars at the moment! Either Lithuania's team are weathermen, or he made a huge gamble, and it may have just paid off!

It has! Lap 30, Lithuania has set the fastest lap of the race! Granted, most of it has taken place in the wet so far, but his 1:19.319 time is so very fast. The other drivers will likely change onto dry tires soon as well, so they'll be looking to set the fastest lap as well.

Also, he's back on the lead lap.

Lap 35, and the other drivers have finally changed onto the dry tires as the rain has completely dissipated. Still overcast here in the Principality of Monaco, but the chance of rain occurring once again is quite slim. Lithuania now finds himself in 7th place, Germany still leading. GER, SPA, BEL, CHN, USA, VIE, LIT, CAN, NOR, GRE. Then Macau, Ukraine, Belarus, and Taiwan.

**REPLAY**

Taiwan was one of the first cars into the pits, but unfortunately, one of the last out of them. The problem started, innocently enough, on lap 34 where she touched the barrier out of the Nouvelle Chicane and broke off part of wing of the Williams. Not only did she have to get the wing replaced, but then the front right tire changer slipped the tire out of his hands and scrambled to retrieve it and change it on. Disastrous results followed.

The clouds are beginning to disperse as we enter lap 40. Running on board with Lithuania, who is still in 7th and tailing both Saubers. Here he is in the tunnel right behind Vietnam. ... inching closer with every corner. Down the front straight, Lithuania opens the DRS and overtakes Vietnam on the outside, fantastic move there, he's now into 6th place.

Lap 43. Lithuania once again in the tunnel, straight behind America. History rhymes as Lithuania gets the pass done on America down the front straight, this time on the inside corner.

Lap 51, trouble in Casino as Spain's engine has completely exploded! The car limps into the convenient runoff as Spain scrambles out! Green flags in the chicane, and for the first time this season, both Ferraris fail to finish!

**REPLAY**

Coming out of turn 3, now, and a huge puff of smoke emerges from the gearbox of Spain's #3. It rolls down the hill into the runoff at Casino before bursting into flames entirely. Spain rushes straight into the ambulance.

Lap 55. GER, BEL, CHN, LIT, VIE, USA, CAN, GRE, NOR, UKR.

On board with Lithuania, the front straight is doing wonders for him as he has managed to pass China as the two Renault-powered cars enter lap 56. That is Lithuania on the podium now, stringing together some excellent passes these past few laps but still being the most overtaken so far. That could change here, as Norway is also very close. He has just been passed by Ukraine, proving yet again the undeniable existence of God. You can go home now.

Lap 60. Taiwan has retired from the race for unknown reasons. Hopefully not reasons correlating in any way with influence from teh CPC.

This leaves us with only 12 cars left in the race, possibly allowing for the stupification of those who finish in 11th and 12th. Right now those are Belarus and Macau. Driving F1 ain't easy, though, folks.

Lap 67, and Lithuania has done the unimaginable! He's passed Belgium, and it's looking more and more like a repeat of Greece's performance in Malaysia just weeks ago! Germany is ten seconds ahead, though, so he probably has nothing to worry about.

Lap 70, except Macau and Belarus colliding in the tunnel! Disaster there! A tire goes flying, and both cars are out of the race! This race has had no shortage of carnage, as we are down to only 10 cars! Unbelievable! Safety car deployed! Lithuania has every chance now!

**REPLAY**

Belarus was running 12th behind Macau in 11th. Here Belarus goes to the inside of Macau out of Portier, and they run side by side through the tunnel, which is not straight. They make the turn, which is certainly a noticeable one, get together, Belarus goes into the wall, takes Macau's right rear tire clean off, and sends them sliding just into the Nouvelle runoff. Green flags are waving out of the chicane, as the three-hour mark has just been passed.

Lap 74, four laps to go, the debris has been cleaned up, and Lithuania is left in the dust by Germany!

Lap 75, GER, LIT, VIE, USA, BEL, CHN, CAN, GRE, NOR, UKR as the only cars currently left in the race. Belarus and Macau just managed to complete 90% of the race distance and will be scored 11th and 12th, gaining no points in the process. This means Taiwan has no scoring for this race, however. Was that needless to say? WHO CARES?! You'll have also noticed that rapid progression of both Sauber drivers. Value teamwork, kids!

FINAL LAP! 78! Lithuania is putting all the pressure on Germany! They blitz through Sainte Devote and Beau Rivage, Vietnam and America right behind them! Right through Massenet and Casino, down through Mirabeau Haute, the hairpin, Mirabeau Bas, and out of Portier! Into the tunnel, Lithuania makes the move! HE'S DONE IT! LITHUANIA TAKES THE LEAD  _AND GERMANY'S SPUN! SPUN OUT OF THE EXIT OF NOUVELLE! VIETNAM, AMERICA, AND BELGIUM GET STRAIGHT BY!_ Belgium looking to make the move on America down to Tabac! Rejected! Belgium falls back, China comes up close! Germany rejoins behind Ukraine, driving slowly towards the finish line. Lithuania gets out of La Rascasse, checkered flag, and the impossible dream comes true!

"YES! YES! YES! YEEEESSSS! YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!"

"Great work, Lithuania! You showed them!"

'YESSS! YEEESSSSSS! YES! YES! YES! HALLEFUCKINGLUJAH!"

"Ahahahaha!"

Vietnam comes second.

"I did what?"

"Got a ticket to 2nd in parc ferme, Viet-chan!"

"Ah. I see."

America in third. Both Saubers on the podium today!

"Whoo! Another third place. Thanks guys."

"Whatever."

While the podium finishers pull into parc ferme, Germany pulls into the pits and exits his car, clearly distraught, returning to his garage pushing away the cameras and holding his head low. Clear disappointment. It all happened so fast, Germany was under immense pressure, but sadly, let it all go in the end. 1 point is better than nothing, however.

Parc ferme and the podium don't really exist, so the celebrations take place on the front straight.

Lithuania jumps out of his car, jumps up and down, and gets smothered by his teammates like Spain did last weekend. America gives Vietnam a hug, and she pats him on the back. Lithuania turns to Vietnam and gives her a hug as well. He turns to America and has a clear moment. Thailand shakes Vietnam's hand as he emerges from the Caterham garage. After the trophies are handed out, Lithuania tears up in joy as he lifts the historic trophy shaped in the circuit's outline. Champagne! America and Vietnam spray each other then douse the leftovers on Lithuania, who was just shooting it at Thailand and into the air. Group hug time.

RACE RESULTS

1\. Lithuania finishes in a time of 3:14.291, obviously added on to by all the safety car deployments and lap 1 red flag. That also means Caterham has points in the Constructor's Championship!

2\. VIE +4.314

3\. USA +5.303

4\. BEL +7.490

5\. CHN +10.904

Toro Rossos 6 and 7, which equals Canada's first points this season! He'll be looking to improve his score at his home Grand Prix in two weeks. GRE +12.233 CAN +14.002

8\. NOR +14.678

9\. UKR +20.442

10\. Germany. No questions asked now. +56.239

11\. BEL +8 laps

12\. MAC +8 laps

-. TAI

-. SPA

-. BUL

-. POL

-. ITA

-. RUS

-. HUN

-. ENG

-. PRU

-. FRA

DRIVER'S CHAMP.

Italy still has the lead with 70 points, but Germany is now only 1 point away!

1\. ITA 70

2\. GER 69

3\. ENG 61

4\. Belgium in a new spot with 57 points!

5\. SPA 53

6\. America in a new spot with 51 points!

7\. PRU 48

8\. GRE 41

9\. Vietnam in a new spot with 27 points!

10\. And right behind her is our winner, Lithuania, with 25 points!

11\. FRA 23

12\. China in a new spot with 20 points!

13\. RUS 16

14\. NOR 15

15\. Canada on the board with 6 points!

16\. BUL 4

16\. ICE 4

16\. Ukraine got 2 points today and is tied for 16th!

19\. Taiwan with 1 point! Love and hugs!

Hungary, Macau, Poland, and Belarus still have to get some points! Plenty of time left, however!

CONSTRUCTOR'S CHAMP.

1\. Ferrari's lead is unchanged despite DNF'ing both cars today. 123.

2\. Mercedes has also broken the hundred barrier now, with 105 points!

3\. Red Bull 84

4\. Sauber in a new spot with 78 points!

5\. McLaren 68

6\. Lotus 47

7\. Toro Rosso 39

8\. Caterham now has points! 25 of them!

9\. Williams 11

10\. Force India 4

11\. Marussia got 2 more points today, that's a grand total right now of 3! Yay!

**See you in Montreal for the Canadianan Grand Prix, eh? Wait, it's not Canadia? Oh. Canadian? OK. Just keep sending us your voice actors, not your illegal immigrants! We don't have that problem, eh? I'm Latino, was born here, and did not jump the border! My back is dry! :D See you in Canada! Bring your pancakes!**


	8. Montreal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Canadian Grand Prix. Let's hope someone doesn't fill up the car with syrup instead of fuel pre-race.

_In Memory of Mark Robinson_

Team boss interview! "What do you think about the team and its chances this season?"

_Red Bull_

Austria: "Vell, I zink Deutschland and Norge have done pretty vell so far zis season. I zink either one still has a chance of winning the world title.

_Ferrari_

Romano: "I've got two annoying, lazy bastards to deal with. I'm placing all my money on Veneziano."

_McLaren_

Hong Kong: "I think we're Red Bull's and Ferrari's greatest rivals this season, and we have to do our job. Russia needs to step up his game, and England needs to stay consistent.

_Lotus_

Estonia: "Both of my drivers are annoying idiots. It doesn't help that China tries to censor the internet at the headquarters. I'm not confident that my drivers can perform to the best of their ability.

_Mercedes_

Latvia: "I know Prussia is good, but he is scaring me. I like Belgium way more, and I think she has better chances this season. She's done really well!"

_Sauber_

Switzerland: "I don't really care."

Liechtenstein: "Big bruder, why do you have to be like that?... I think we can win a race this season! We've already got three podiums, and we've been very consistent."

_Force India_

India: "Ah, Hungary and Bulgaria have the appearance and skill of elephants, but if only they could work well together... they've not been doing well at all so far..."

_Williams_

Portugal: "I've great faith that Macau and Taiwan can do well this year, maybe finish in the top 15 in the standings!"

Decent goal.

_Toro Rosso_

Luxembourg: "Greece did amazingly well at Malaysia, so I think he can keep up the performance. Canada is also doing okay as well, so I think soon at Montreal he can win his home Grand Prix.

_Caterham_

Thailand: "My drivers work well together, even if Poland petitions to stretch the rules in his favor. All we need to do is beat Marussia, and with a win on our belts, it's safe to say we've already accomplished that goal."

_Marussia_

Czech: "We have to remain vigilant and beat Caterham!"  
Slovakia: "Yeah, what she said!

Hello and welcome to the Circuit Gilles Villeneuve in Montreal, Canada, for today's racing action! It's the Canadian Grand Prix, and it is a very popular race that has been held since 1961 (1968 as a F1 race)! Certainly everyone who has ever driven here or watched this race before knows about the Quebec Wall on the final chicane, better known as the Wall of Champions! Why? Because even World Champions have barriered the car in that exact spot! It'll be exciting to see how our nations handle the track. Clear, sunny blue skies here in Montreal, where the cars are lining up off the pace lap!

Spain has the pole today, and Norway is sat just behind.

3, 2

4, 5

1, 6

7, 9

8, 11

10, 12

14, 15

16, 18

17, 20

19, 21

22, 23

Lights out, go go go go! Spain gets a clearly better start there and is followed by Norway and Italy out of the Virage Senna! And yes, many circuits have turns named after the late and great F1 champion Ayrton Senna. Glossing over that, looks like everyone has made it through sectors 1 and 2 safely.

At the hairpin, France has gone wide! The Frenchman who was running 9th has broken too late for that corner, and rejoins the track in 14th behind Hungary! France is not having very much luck this season either. On board now with Spain as he heads down the long straight to the chicane. Braking early, and moving slowly through the thin chicane, avoiding the Wall entirely. Looks as though everyone else is taking that same line

except Poland, who got shuffled into last, and has blitzed the corner at top speed. And he's set the fastest time through sector 3. Wow. Well.

Lap 5, the order is SPA, NOR, ENG, ITA, GER, RUS, CHN, PRU, VIE, BEL. Poland has managed to set the fastest lap, 1:21.482, but is still running in 22nd behind Ukraine, who is only 1.292 seconds off the pace.

Lap 7, Poland is now in 20th and has left both Marussias in the last position. Could he be trying to emulate his teammate's performance last race? We'll see. On board with Poland now, who is currently running behind home man Canada in 19th place. Canada is still really hoping to win today, let's see how that turns out for him.

It's lap 12, and Poland still hasn't gotten past Canada. In fact, Canada recently took 18th place from Poland's teammate Lithuania, who won the last race, but is probably looking to go back to consistency with his first five performances of the season. Order is still SPA, NOR, ENG, ITA, GER, RUS, CHN, PRU, VIE, BEL.

Lap 14, and a few clouds are flying overhead. No chance of rain, however.

Lap 17, it's been done! Yep! China has run straight into the Wall of Champions. He's managed not to barrier the car but has broken his entire front wing off and will have to limp the circuit one more time before pitting early to fix the issue. Green flags in turn 1.

Lap 18, and China rejoins the track in 16th, behind a rapidly moving Canada. Full order is SPA, NOR, ITA, ENG, GER, RUS, PRU, VIE, BEL, HUN, USA, FRA, BUL, TAI, CAN, CHN, MAC, GRE, LIT, UKR, POL, BLR.

Lap 22, and wind is increasing in speed throughout the Montreal area. Its effects are clearly felt on the crowd, but what about the drivers? Not very much. F1 cars generate so much downforce that they could theoretically drive upside down inside a tunnel. Fast fact of the day for you, see ya tomorrow!

Lap 38, and everyone is heading for the pits to change onto the option tires, even China. He's probably hoping that his car is fast enough to beat out the midfield runners. Ahahahahahahahahaha. Good one, Xi.

Lap 40, pit stops done. Running order still has Spain in the lead, but includes Canada in 10th! SPA, BEL, GER, NOR, ENG, PRU, USA, ITA, RUS, CAN.

Lap 45, and we are a bit shocked that nobody has crashed or retired so far. Maybe we are now jinxing it. Who are we? Spain, Belgium, and Germany in the top 3.

Lap 51, we jinxed it! Two cars crashed at L'Epingle, the hairpin! Russia and America, out at turn 10!

**REPLAY**

America and Russia were running 7th and 8th at the time. Russia makes a rash move down America's inside, understeers it, and pulls both cars off at the hairpin. Both cars barrier it, America's right rear tire comes off, Russia's car is totaled, and both are done for the day.

And America has ran towards Russia and begun beating at the McLaren driver who is still strapped in! Whoos from the crowd as stewards manage to pull America away.

America: "DRUNK FUCKER TRIED TO KILL ME!"

America is led away. Russia gets out of his car just fine. Green flags in the hairpin. 20 cars left in the race.

Lap 57, Canada is now in 4th place! My days! Can't you already guess what is about to happen? Canada is going to rush into 1st like a Canadian madman, if one ever existed! Running is SPA, BEL, NOR, CAN, GER, ENG, PRU, ITA, HUN, MAC. Macau looking for a point, eh?

Lap 60, and Ukraine has retired from the race. The issue? Gearbox failure. Being stuck in 3rd gear will not help you win a race, contrary to popular belief.

Lap 64, guess who's in second? Canada! But guess who's in first? Belgium! It's really between the two of them now! I can hear the fans booing me for rehashing the same idea for the third time now! It hurts, actually I don't care.

Final lap of the race, and Norway in 3rd is a distant memory as it's all between Belgium and Canada! Through turns 1 and 2, through the end of sector 1 and all the way through sector 2, Canada is right on Belgium's tail! Less than a second behind just before the hairpin, Canada tries to make the move on the inside! He makes it... Belgium going for the undercut... fails! Down the straight, deploy DRS Canada, turn your volume up, start the sick beat!

Wait!

Evil music implying impending danger!

I-IT'S

WALL!

Canada gets through the chicane! DRS up again! Canada's done it! Checkered flag! Belgium 2nd!

"Yeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh... I did it, Kumakichi! I did it! Yeah!"

"Knew you could do it... person."

*sigh*

Norway comes 3rd.

"Guten work, Norge."

"Takk."

Parc ferme. Canada throws his hands into the air and gets hugged by Belgium. Norway nods at them, shakes his teammates' hands, and heads for the podium. Belgium holds Canada's hand in the air as they follow the Norwegian.

You can tell there are goosebumps on Canada's body as his anthem plays. He is ecstatic.

Champagne time! Canada and Belgium spray each other while Norway dunks the bottle over Austria.

RACE RESULTS

1\. Canadia! Yay, eh! 1:41.323

2\. BEL +1.321

3\. NOR +6.313

4\. GER +10.893

5\. PRU +18.564

6\. SPA +33.214

7\. ENG +39.036

8\. HUN +43.743

9\. MAC +50.313

10\. ITA +55.684

11\. BUL +58.401

12\. TAI +1:01.423

13\. VIE +1:05.857

14\. FRA +1:16.202

15\. CHN +1 lap

16\. GRE +1 lap

17\. POL +1 lap

18\. BLR +1 lap

19\. Good job on the consistency, Lithuania. +1 lap

-. UKR

-. RUS

-. USA

DRIVERS?!

1\. Germany back into the lead with 81 points!

2\. Italy down to second again with only 71!

3\. ENG 67

4\. BEL 75

5\. ENG 67

6\. SPA 61

7\. PRU 58

8\. GRE 41

9\. Canada has 31 points!

10\. Norway jumps up a few places with 30 points!

11\. VIE 27

12\. LIT 25

13\. FRA 23

14\. CAN 20

15\. RUS 16

16\. BUL 4

16\. Hungary on the board with 4 points!

16\. Iceland? Still has 4.

16\. UKR 4

20\. Macau got 2 points today!

21\. TAI 1

Now only Poland and Belarus need points! Will they get them? The answer is

well, the camera died, and I don't know when it did.

CONSTRUCTORS...

1\. Mercedes leading now with 133 points!

2\. Ferrari down to second with 127!

3\. Red Bull breaks through the hundreds with 111!

4\. Sauber 78

5\. McLaren 76

6\. Toro Rosso up to 6th with 64 points!

7\. Lotus 47

8\. Caterham 25

9\. Williams 13

10\. Force India 8

11\. Marussia 3

**See you in Silverstone for the British Grand Prix, which will feature the most patriotic fans you'll ever see outside of football (soccer)!**


End file.
